Saturday, June 04, 2005
i bowled masters today. got last. 16th out of 16. sigh. feeling super super fcuked up now. dint go interclub. oh man. i bowled so so terribly. so humiliating. even uncle billy got fed up with me. im guessing he gave up on me. he kept saying that im not brave enough to change line. i DARE! i just get very stressed when it comes to masters. somehow i never can bowl well during masters. every masters i bowl i can qualify quite well. masters always screws up. such as
1. 2003 national schools c division
2. 2004 singapore open youth
3. 2004 singapore open graded
4. 2004 junior classics
5. 2004 national masters challenge 2
6. 2005 national age group
sighh i wonder what the 7th 8th and 9th will be.. i cant carry on like that. how am i ever going to achieve my goals and aspirations? nobody nobody understands how much stress and pressure im feeling. seriously. me being only sixteen and with this much pressure from bowling and acadamic work. its killing me. i cant take it much longer. sighh. lord help me!
im at home now. really have nothing much to do. i guess i'll go get a movie and watch to spend my time away. i still have my south zone and youth challenge coming up. even so. i have my cdl to bowl. i really need all the support i can get. NOBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL! =(
watching everyone receive their trophies and everything. in my head im thinking. why not me? why not eugene low? do i really suck that much sighh.. if only national youth had sent me in too. i'll get doubles and team event medals. i need to focus dammit! IM BREAKING APART INTO A MILLION PIECES
++eugenie++
fail to plan, plan to fail
express yourself! {19:22}
bowler