a small bowl of my reminisces

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

its my birthday.
im seventeen.
148512 hours
6250 days
884 weeks
204 months
17 years
i've been living this life,
smelling this air,
feeling these emotions,
seeing and facing reality.

but its only the past 31 months, 961 days, 23064 hours;
that i've had this feeling. and it has seemed to last a lifetime.
bad times bad times.

i had a small little gathering at my place just now.
lost about 88 bucks on blackjack being the banker.
and won 8 playing mahjong. not bad for a day i guess.
oh. im a lit student, hence i can read between lines very well.
i think i understand what youre trying to interpret.
i ended our little dispute and now its a 'cold war'.
one sided at least.

was watching chasing liberty on hbo today.
i think the love storyline in movies are so unreal.
it all ends up everyone being happy.
i totally cannot relate to these type of endings.
where are the breakups, arguments and rejections in movies?
these type of movies are so stereotype. even though it was nice =)

++eugenie++
i live another year

express yourself! {01:12}

Friday, January 27, 2006

i had an awesome movie =)
and an awesome wednesday and thursday with the same person =)
thanks so much =)

and and.. who the hell is goh fu kuan tagging on my tagboard?
seriously, its damn irritating.
my bloggs are for my friends and its for private viewing.
if you just wanna come and irritate the hell out of me then just tell me.
i'll change my blog just for you.
stop being such a irritant and typing disgusting and horrible messages.
if your that sick in the head, then get away from me.

++eugenie++
you ruined my day

express yourself! {22:13}

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

woahh. time passes so freaking slowly during the day. i just realised.
monday time table was messed up. literally, lessons are so dry, teachers are making me yawn. but i still love acjc. hahahaha. but seriously. its super super tiring for me. im like falling asleep during most tutorials esp math, econs and chinese. goshh. it totally sucks.
and and. im like a total stranger in class. which is totally not me. im suppose to be noisy and loud and the one making noises in normal classes. goshh!!
i feel so secluded and stuck. stuck is the word. im lost during most lectures anyway.
hahahah. oh well. at least there's something to look forward to.
TOMORROW! I SHALL GO OUT WITH MY SPECIAL FRIEND AND CATCH A MOVIE AND IT'LL TOTALLY MAKE MY DAY. NOTHING IS GONNA STOP ME =)

ohh. peiling, byebye!! keep in touch yeah. hope you liked our presents to ya!

cmon one aye dee three

++eugenie++
urgghhh

express yourself! {21:45}

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

ah fuck. my class is out. im in 1AD3
but but. i dont like my class one bit. its gonna be tougher to bond with them than it took me to bond with my orientation group. sighh. its like a horrid class. i dont see myself getting along with my classmates. sighh. i'm faced with so many dilemmas. so many problems. just as i thought acjc was getting fun. i miss HOLMES. i miss you all.

a poem i wrote during H2 math lecture which i dint take:

a gunshot she fired,
strikes me straight in my heart.
burning, eruptive fit;
faced with an open cave.
cold black ice melts into driplets.
clock flustered pale.
magma reciting out my wounds,
heat immensed throughout my body.
hunched down onto my knees,
water-filled eyes gazed upon me.
she did'nt mean it.
lay down; a lifeless soul.

it aint any shakespear or anything but i think its really meaningful for me.
ahhh. i love you so much. you dont know it, but i really do. take care =)

++eugenie++
dreading the darkest days ahead

express yourself! {22:21}

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

hmmm. haven been updating this few days. im really looking forward to school everyday you know. haha. fellow bloggers, let me share this secret with you, when people tell you to study hard. make sure you jolly well study and not wait until the day before literature o level and just manage to finish reading the lit text. not a very wise way of mugging your way out. hahahahha. oh well. i think i can give people alot of advise la. im like kena everything bad that can happen to anybody already. ask me for advise ok ok? be it love, bowling, education, friendship or even medical. hahahahha. i think i can help =)

more on the real life stuff. im getting acquainted to my orientation group and the middle table of the acjc void deck. right side chair. the ones at the side, where im always at. hahahaha. in two days i've sat there for more than eight freaking hours just talking and chatting away. its quite fun but yeah. kinda no life. =) i love it. hahahahah. lectures have been quite alright just that i think the history teacher speaks a little too fast. i'm trying to keep up. i wanna stay in acjc. gosh. hahaha.

++eugenie++
mfeo

express yourself! {20:00}

Friday, January 13, 2006

i love acjc.
im so attached to acjc.
sigh. somebody crashed ac today. talked to her a little.
invited her on my birthday too =)
but now, time has flew beyond the atmosphere of the outer layers.
i love my orientation group.
they're so fun to be with.
i dont wanna get new classes.
dont break us up.
i wanna stay in acjc. ahhh the agony

++eugenie++
mfeo

express yourself! {23:39}

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

i just found out that my o level results are coming out on 13 feb.
thats like the d-day of my school life so far. well. im getting a little attached to acjc life now and my og is becoming quite a fun lot. im really really afraid that i cant get into acjc after my actual points come out for my o levels. sighh. im already having problems with my subject combinations. i met this special babe today. haven seen her in a month i think. she looks good still =) well, i guess jc life is pretty demanding and its really hard to stay still when the world is moving round and round every second. rain is pouring down. the sun hardly gets her chance to shine, when she does. she shines with an outcasting rainbow =) pretty

++eugenie++
skies the limit

express yourself! {21:26}

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I was born slow, but picking up speed I run through
Our burnt-out streets, screaming, refusing to buy a house.
Finally, exasperated, the misunderstanding overtakes me, snatches up.

misunderstandings.

i havent spoken to you in almost two weeks.
i'm dying, desperate.
holding on to my self-denial.
exuberant. wild but yet confined
i see you walking in front of me.
my outstretched arms. cant reach you.
finely curled hair bounces with the atmosphere.
you've moved on yet once again.
im stuck, in a moment of time.

++eugenie++
youre always on my mind

express yourself! {21:55}

Sunday, January 08, 2006

i had my gold medal yesterday. last 4 games managed to up about a hundred and ten pins. but overall got third. not enough. well. lesley won the womens' and wilson won the mens'. byebye lynette, have a safe journey back. hurry come back okay?

my sister asked me for super glue. i said i dont have.
she asked my mom, she asked her to ask me.
i said i dont have.
she asked my maid, she asked her to ask me.
i said i dont have.
i went to look for super glue in my bowling drawers.
i found a box. familiar box.

inside it, a friendship band, a heart and half a keychain.
the keychain stats 'two hearts' the other half states 'one love'
i dont have the other half, its with somebody else's dustbin i guess.
on the back of the keychain were two people's names, eugene and somebody.
and the heart, i've took super good care of.
that friendship band is a little spoilt.
like i dont know how to hook it together.
i'll start wearing it for luck =)
i always thought we're MFEO.
you always thought we're MFEO.
but we're not.

++eugenie++
made for each other

express yourself! {20:26}

Thursday, January 05, 2006

orientation camp is beginning to unfold itself into a rubix cube.
fun but very very challenging.
i kinda missed one day of orientation on wednesday.
i missed out on that dance thingy. like two sessions.
im cramping my head with that dance thingy.
its so hard to dance to black or white and pon de replay.
urghh. save me.
i dont wanna look like a complete idiot.

++eugenie++
fuzzy wuzzy

express yourself! {23:53}

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

i dont like acjc orientation camp one bit =X

i miss that warm fuzzy feeling we all have,
at one point or another.
that feeling where we feel whole.
we all know what i am talking about
yes, that crazy four letter word.
that makes our world seem crazy,
crazy enough that we dont know when to stop.
and when we do stop,
nobody waits.

++eugenie++
everythings gonna be alright now
tomorrow will be a brighter day

express yourself! {00:26}

Monday, January 02, 2006

family dinners arnt the same anymore.

they rarely happen these days.

on rare occasions like tonight, when we're all free.

we have dinner together.

thats called family dinner.

normal family dinners are fun, not this family.

we sat, we ordered and we waited.

hardly a single word was spoken.

maybe it was because of me, i was quiet.

everytime a 'family dinner' occurs, its normaly fun.

xmas eve and new year dinner alone, sucked.

i felt like crying half the time, the other half was spent messaging.

i quarrelled with a babe today.

i told her i wont bother her life with my life again.

i feel thats quite almost impossible,

having spent the past three years bothering her life.

thats a fifth of my life time.

pretty amazing isnt it? how miracles happen in mysterious ways.

why i call this a miracle? because miracles are DISGUSTING.

just like certain people whose life took a turn for the worse.

the ancient belief, the god of hatred has set a task on declaring war on me.

i cant fight a battle that has been won two years ago,

i can only bluff my way through and deceive myself that i won.

but truth is, i lost and i suffered heavily for nothing.

++eugenie++
time cant heal all wounds

express yourself! {21:32}

Sunday, January 01, 2006

hmmm. haven been blogging in awhile.
friday lesley came to pick my up and i went to school to collect some eagles edusave award nonsense. haahha. then went to town to buy kawai her birthday present. i bought her some perfume thingy. hhahah. met my primary school best friend who went to aussie and like got totally punked and rocked. if you know what i mean. hahahhaha. went to bakerzin to have a light lunch and met andrew there. after which we took a cab straight to kawai's house. the party wasnt really awesome it was kinda like a gathering. there was alot of people though. played mahjong while watching some movie thingy that was freaking funny. hahahhaha. some magician guy came and showed his woahs and whees. nothing special. went for supper and back home.
new years eve was a really wet one. andrew's dad came to pick my up from my home around four plus and we reached the chalet only at five? hahahhah. it was a freaking long journey. umm.. played mahjong there for about an hour. had a bbq dinner and a controversy over whether to swim or not. hahahha. i went to swim with jeremy, andrew and alexius. freaking andrew's lens came out in the pool hahahhaha. and alexius threw nicola into the pool. hahahhahahah. we later booked a cab to riverine. cosh freaking 20 bucks man. haahhaha. met geri, alex, elvina, annuar, jem, andrew, foong, jeong and some of the sicc adults there. hahahahha. i think i drank quite alot but wasnt really drunk or anything. the count down was great and we were kinda like watching soccer all the way. hahahahah. took a cab back to the chalet. the cab ride was freaking funny. we kept going on and on about the thumb thing. hahhahahah. what thumb is it? what thumb you going back? any thumb. hahahahhahaha. shit its the funniest shit ever. back at the chalet we're playing circle of death all the way till sunrise. andrew managed to get ivy to come down. and they chatted for about three whole hours. alot of couples kinda quarrelled there. hope they were alright man. hmmm. had breakfast with nicola, andrew, jeong and ivy. lousy nasi lemak. hahahhahah, i cant really think of anything now. i just got back home. not really but yeah. new year is one lousy occasion.

baby, why are you avoiding me?
i miss you so badly. happy new year =)

++eugenie++
emotional crush

express yourself! {15:31}